SOME OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES - Bill Hicks Special

Here are some of my favourite quotes by, or about the late American comedian Bill Hicks.

These would all obviously be better delivered by the man himself, but enjoy!

'I've been with the same girl for five years now, so I finally popped the question: "Why are we still seeing each other?"'

'They lie about marijuana.  Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated.  Liiie.  When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well, you just realise it's not worth the f---ing effort.  There is a difference.'

'No one has handguns in England, not even the cops.  Now!  In England last year they had fourteen deaths from handguns.  Fourteen.  Now!  United States, I think you know how we feel about handguns.  Whoo!  I'm getting a warm, tingly feeling just saying the f---ing word to be honest with you.  23,000 deaths from handguns.  But there's no connection...and you'd be a fool and a communist to make one.  There's no connection between having a gun and shooting someone with it, and not having a gun and not shooting someone.  There've been studies made, and there is no connection at all there.  Yes.  It's absolute truth.  You know, fourteen deaths from handguns - probably American tourists, too...'

'A lot of things are changing, and they all seem to be stemming from the return of a gentleman named Bill Hicks.  A man who I can't figure out if he is near enlightenment or a black beast.  I don't know.  He's a genius and a putz and a child and a master all in one.  And with the return of him on Wednesday, my life has been shaken like thunder.  I have experienced every emotion and every shade of feeling since he's been back.  Elation, joy, bliss, anger, depression, awe, love, hate, wonder, laughter, disappointment, fear, pain, have all passed through me.  And generally all at the same time.'
Dwight Slade's journal, American Scream, The Bill Hicks Story (by Cynthia True).

'It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.  Keep that in mind at all times.'

'He screamed into the microphone.  His vision of a machine-gun-toting Jesus was positively malevolent.  He acted out violent, bloody fantasies toward his former girlfriend, an assortment of politicians - even the Reagans' dog.  he unearthed new, unimagined lows in bad taste...This is not a warm person.  But is he funny?  Oh yes.'
News and Observer reporter Michael Hetzer on Bill Hicks

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES - PART II

'How a man can wander about all day on an empty belly, and even get an erection once in a while, is one of those mysteries which are too easily explained by the 'anatomists of the soul.' ' - Henry Miller

'When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.' - Paulo Coelho

'She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season.' - P.G. Wodehouse

"We're freaks, that's all.  Those two bastards got us nice and early and made us into freaks with freakish standards, that's all.  We're the Tattooed lady, and we're never going to have a minute's peace, the rest of our lives, till everybody else is tattooed, too." - J.D. Salinger (from 'Zooey')

'No one I met at this time failed to assure me that a man who is hit through the neck and survives it is the luckiest creature alive.  I could not help thinking that it would be even luckier not to be hit at all.' - George Orwell

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES - PART I

'Even if teenage children aren't making a sound, it's quieter when they're gone.' - John Steinbeck

'When the gods frown, the wise man learns to surf on their furrows.' - Luke Rhinehart

'If someone has a wart on their nose or their forehead, it really does seem that the only thing anyone in the world wants to do is to look at your wart, laugh at it and condemn you for it, even though you may have discovered America in the meanwhile.' - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

'If money isn't so great, then why do rich people keep it all to themselves?' - Douglas Coupland

'I'll never say I'm No. 1, but i'll never admit to being No. 2.' - Bruce Lee